This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier...
New Direction for
any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
I’d go, that way
one of my grand nephews or nieces wouldn’t have to go. I’d dearly love to kill
as many of the Muslim bastards that had the misfortune to fall into my sights.
I’m 68 years old and can still put five rounds under two inches at 200 yards.
Further than that I can’t even see.
I am over 60 and the Armed
Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42
to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending
18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old
guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters, researchers say
18-year- olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think
about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional
seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long
enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back
hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient,
and maybe letting us kill some --- hole that desperately deserves it will make
us feel better and shut us up for a while..
An 18-year-old doesn't even
like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee , so what the
hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up,
I may as well be up killing some fanatical son--- -
-----.
If captured we couldn't spill
the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and
serial number would be a real brainteaser .
Boot camp would be easier for
old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft
food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for
years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and
yelling.
They could lighten up on the
obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot
wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups
after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is
kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole
world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with
a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to
shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to
keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off
into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down
those terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million
pissed off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic
weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them. Most haven’t
had sex in years and suffer from DSB………..dead sperm backup.
HEY!! How about recruiting
Women over 50...in menopause !!! You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my,
WOW!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the
first night!
Send this to all of your senior
friends...it's in big type so they can read it.
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