On the Interstate Today

This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a

Woman In a brand new Cadillac Doing 65 mph With her

Face up next to her Rear view mirror Putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away For a couple seconds... to continue shaving

And when I looked back she was Halfway over in my lane,

Still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily.

But she scared me so much; I had to put on my seat belt

and I dropped My electric shaver Which knocked The donut

Out of my other hand.

In all The confusion of trying To straighten out the car

Using my knees against The steering wheel, It knocked

My Cell Phone Away from my ear Which fell Into the coffee,

Between my legs!

Splashed, And burned Big Jim and the Twins,

Ruined the damn phone, Soaked my trousers,

And disconnected an Important call.

 

Damn women drivers!