Special Truths

1.The nicest thing about the future is . . .

that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog .. . ..

but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor . . .

you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining . . ..

as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is . .. .

when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark . .

to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important . . .

because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions . . ..

you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat (or dog) . . ..

and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy (or girl) . . ..

who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins . . ..

the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. . ..

like, it could be the right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game" . . .

when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where . . ..

'happy hour' is a nap.

15. Be careful about reading the fine print . .. .

there's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that . . .

not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years . .. .

we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness .. . ..

but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Lexus than in a Yugo.

19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint . . .

you're probably dead.

20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind . . ..

and the ones that mind don't matter.

21. Life isn't tied with a bow .. . ..

but it's still a gift.

REMEMBER....

POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS

SHOULD

BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON"