Lexophiles

"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for
words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to
write with a broken pencil is pointless."

A competition to see who can come up with the best lexphillies is
held every year in an undisclosed location. This year's winning
submission is posted at the very end:

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care centre where a three-year-old was
resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

winner:
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.