One Man's Perfect Day

11:35pm Is The Best! 

6:00 Alarm
6:30 Massive, satisfying dump while reading the sports section
7:00 Breakfast - steak and eggs, coffee and toast - all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot.
7:30 Limo arrives
7:45 Couple of ice-cold beers en route to the airport
9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet - finest Scotch served in Baccarat crystal sniffer from green-eyed redhead with huge tits
9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club
9:45 Play front nine (2 under par)
11:45 Lunch  -steak and lobster, couple of ice-cold beers and bottle of Dom Peringon
12:20 Breaking News:  Jesse Jackson discovered to be on Maylaysia flight 370
12:30 Play back nine (4 under)
2:15 Limo back to airport (several bourbons)
2:30 Fly to Bahamas
2:40 News Flash: Nancy Pelosi's plane shot down over Syria, apprehended by Isis
3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot
4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs)-on light tackle
5:00 Fly home, massage by naked Elle Macpherson
6:45 Shit, shower, shave , and shine
6:55 News Flash: Harry Reid Announced as America's 3rd Ebola victim
7:00 Watch news - Al Sharpton assassinated
7:30 Dinner - lobster appetizers, Dom Peringon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits
9:40 News Flash: Eric Holder and entourage missing after speaking engagement in Jackson, Mississippi
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing ice-cold beer
11:30 Night-cap -
11:35 Obama resigns 
11:45 In bed alone
11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room
11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep....can't wait for tomorrow .