Ben Stein’s ChristmasHere is what I got for Christmas: not having to be in Auschwitz; not having to be beaten to death by Lithuanian death squads with iron bars; not having to be a prisoner in a Japanese prison ship; not having to be galley slave in Roman times; not having to fight in sub-zero cold against Communist hordes in Korea; not having to be in a leukemia ward; not having to be homeless on skid row in downtown L.A. That’s not all. I got to not be tortured and executed by an opposing ethnic group in South Sudan; not being sold into slavery in Brazil; not being hanged for having been born Jewish; not having to be gassed by insecticide by Nazi “scientists.”
And I got the best positive gifts any human could have: my handsome, witty son, my adorable and fast growing granddaughter, Cora, my staggeringly beautiful daughter-in-law, Kitty, my brilliant sister Rachel and her hubby, Mel, my girlfriend, Julie Goodgirl, my dear friends Phil and Al and Sally and Barron and Steve and Michael and Bob and Wlady and John and Aram, all of the great people I work with on TV, especially Jimmy Kimmel, and the ultra-handsome Vissers of Calgary, and my agents, Marcia and Lois, and my makeup girl, Renae,and my doctors and pharmacists and our faithful housekeepers Rosa and Jennifer and our property managers, Carla and Jacqueline.
I get to have the greatest material thing anyone on earth can have: an American passport.
And I got to wake up on Christmas Day with the finest being on the planet: my wifey, an authentic saint who walks on water.
It was a great Christmas. . .
Read the full article @ http://spectator.org/articles/
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