“This morning we all woke up and
realized we are dead. At midnight we starved to death, the plugs on our
ventilators were turned out, airplanes fell from the sky, the TSA stopped
administering prostate exams, and the only good thing is children were born because
Planned Parenthood had no money to abort them.
That's
right, today is Sequestration Day and we're all dead, dying, out of federal
money, or in burning houses without firefighters, teachers, and policemen
to rescue us. The President said so. We have to believe him.
Women and cowboy poetry hardest hit.
In all
seriousness, for over a week the man has been campaigning with such hyperbole
I've been expecting any day he'd claim sequestration would mean we all get E.D.
(including the women) and the Mayan calender was only off by a couple of
months. The hystrionics have been ridiculous.
Today the
sun came up, you and I are alive and well, and the government, sadly, is still
open for business. Today, some Americans will get paychecks and taxes will
still have been taken out and sent to the IRS. We need to keep pointing
that out. Oh, and Republicans are, today, working on a deal to ensure
Obamacare gets fully funded.
Good
morning to you.”
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