All Time Best Divorce Agreement

Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and
coffee to $2.00 per pound maybe this would be a solution we could live
with.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT-- This is so incredibly well-put, and I can hardly
believe it's by a young person, a student!! Whatever he runs for, I'll
vote for him!
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Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
regressive, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids,
but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that
I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for
the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has
clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on
what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We
can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own
way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass,
each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I
am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it
should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can
effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct
and disparate tastes.

2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the
NRA, and the military.

5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind,
solar, and bio-diesel.

6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are,
however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to
move all three of them.

7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps,
homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.

9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and Rednecks.

10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood ..

11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the
right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or
our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political
correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we
will no longer be paying the bill.

15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars.
You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors..

17. We'll continue to believe healthcare is an earned luxury and not a right.

18. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

19. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to
Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".

20. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give
trickle up poverty your best shot.

21. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name
and our constitution and our flag.

22. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other
like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree,
just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you
answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara
Streisand, and Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S..: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.

Forward this every time you get it! Let's keep this going; maybe some
of it will start sinking in!

**If you can't stand behind our Military, please feel free to stand in
front of them!