Why athletes can't have regular jobs.

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:

"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids

to copulate me."

 

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:

"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.."

 

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say:

"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"

Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

 

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:

"He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings.."

 

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like

Norman Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.."

(Now that is beautiful)

 

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:

"You guys line up alphabetically by height.."

And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."

 

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:

"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for

three years, not Princeton .."

 

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a

color photo of himself above his locker:

"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my

clothes."

 

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of

heavyweight Andrew Golota:

"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what

time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to

Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous

at practice:

"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle

or an aunt. (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

 

12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:

"I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'

He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

 

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told

a player who received four F's and one D:

"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:

"I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."

15. Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why

he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she's too ugly to kiss good-bye."