Saturday, December 28, 2013

FutureNews: Your News from 2023

Breitbart:  News from the Future

America has not fully recovered from its military defeat in 2021 at the hands of China. 
The US has had to reconcile itself to an inferior status in the Pacific—and perhaps the world.  To be sure, the actual military losses suffered by the US were minimal; the American surveillance satellites, blinded by Chinese lasers, have now all been replaced—albeit they are limited to new orbits that do not violate China’s Sovereignty Zone.   The three US aircraft carriers that were sunk in the first ten minutes of the conflict represented a great loss of life, of course, but as  the Sharpton-Paul Commission concluded in 2022, the US had no legal authority, in the first place, to patrol that close to Chinese waters.   Moreover, now that Taiwan has accepted reunification with Beijing, and now that Japan, the Philippines, and South Korea have agreed to accept People’s Liberation Army “Friendship Bases” on their territories, experts can cite no reason for the US Navy to venture east of Hawaii.  

We have seen the final elimination of US influence in the Middle East.  
It’s been eight years now since President Obama pulled the last American troops out of Afghanistan.  The US had high hopes for the 2015 peace agreement between the late Hamid Karzai and the Taliban, but those hopes were dashed the following day.   As for neighboring Iran, the results have also been disappointing.  In the six years since then-President Hillary Rodham Clinton launched airstrikes against Iran, that country’s power has increased, not decreased.  What the Clinton-Christie administration did not foresee, of course, is that within weeks of the US strikes, the Tehran regime would join the Shanghai Cooperation Organization, taking its place alongside China and Russia.  The result was a new Eurasian Axis that has supported, not stymied, Iran’s nuclear program.  Earlier this year, United Nations Secretary General Chelsea Clinton expressed hope that Iran could be persuaded to stop further nuclear testing.  She spoke for the hopes of many when she declared, “Surely eighteen tests are enough!”  

Americans are freer than ever before.  
The passage of the Cruz Amendment in 2015—enacted in the wake of the Republican landslide of 2014—established that America would have a blue-state “Obamacare Zone” and a red-state “Nobamacare Zone.”  Since then, in the blue states, tighter gun control and the accumulating Political Correctness Statutes have protected the populace from an estimated 36 different categories of “hate speech,” ranging from the familiar crime of homophobia to the newer violation known as vegan-phobia.   Meanwhile, in the red states, it’s possible to shoot, or tweet, or frack—or even to celebrate Christmas—as much as one wishes to.   

The rise of multivariate“-gamy” forms of marriage has accelerated. 
That is, bigamy and polygamy, of course.  Also, xenogamy, which is interspecies marriage.  In addition, cybergamy, or marriage to a computer.   And in 2023, we have seen the formal legalization of cratgamy, defined as marrying the bureaucrats; yes, what was once informally referred to as the “The Julia Marriage” has become yet another valid form of  marriage.  Former US Senator and presidential candidate Rick Santorum issued a statement saying, simply, “I told you so!”  But then his communications privileges were revoked; he has been in a Massachusetts jail for the past three years, convicted of hate speech uttered during a debate at Harvard University.  Santorum has not been heard from since.  

The impending merger between the US and Mexico appears to be preceding, albeit slowly. 
The federal government has rejected the merger, but California’s “sister state” relationship with Baja California has deepened, to the point where all border checks and inspections have ceased and the two entities are the same color on the map.   The population of the Golden State has nearly doubled over the past decade and continues to grow.  Already boasting 82 House members—66 of them Democrats—California could have more than 100 House members after the next census.   

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