Dealing with NPD

Professional advice when dealing with President Obama’s Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) . . .

Wendy Behary is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The New Jersey Institute for Schema Therapy. She has been treating clients and training professionals for more than 20 years.  Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with and deal with them.

Wendy describes narcissistic people as those who are grossly self-absorbed. They feel an exaggerated sense of entitlement, believe that the rules do not apply to them, are condescending, vain, tend to show-off and be the center of attention, and are always looking for an audience. What’s interesting, Wendy says, is that most of this behavior is unconscious. In other words, most narcissists have no awareness of their behavior. And, if you call it out, they are deeply offended and often angry that they are being criticized.

Dealing with narcissists sometimes requires drawing clear boundaries. This creates a two-choice dilemma for the narcissist: accept the boundary or accept the consequence of no boundary, which should mean the end of the relationship. However, you have to be prepared to be vulnerable and to accept the choice.

Wendy describes empathic confrontation as a process of learning as much as you can about yourself, then about the narcissist and how he or she triggers you. With that

understanding, you can listen deeply and empathically. Finally, you can insist on boundaries and accountability.

Narcissists can change if they want to. However, you must not count on change from the narcissist in your life.

Disarming The Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed.