How to live a horrible life

·         Indulge my every whim--even when I'm repeating an already disastrous scenario that didn't exactly work out the first time.

·         Refuse to forgive--especially myself.

·         Hold on to, nurse, and even embellish grudges, past hurts, and assumed wrongs.

·         Accuse others of stealing from you, talking about you, disliking you (which they probably do by this point) because that further endears you to folks.

·         Watch lots of television.

·         Buy a scooter. Walking is for sissies.

·         Try and force things to happen. It's exhausting and not trusting, but it's based on believing that I'm actually in control--of anything and everything.

·         Keep that inner monologue of self-doubt and self-loathing going 24/7.

·         --while simultaneously blaming anybody and everybody else for my crappy life.

·         Get too little sleep, indulge in too many processed foods/sweets, and take a pill, any pill, all the pills I can find--for everything from a hangnail to hemorrhoids.

·         Never do anything that's not for my own direct benefit.

·         Give up, give in, and then complain about how nothing ever works out for me.

Never say thank you.