(I
didn’t compose this……) Just helping you enjoy your day.
1. President
Donald Trump and Vice President Marco Rubio are sworn into office.
2. In
a rare event on inauguration day, Congress convenes for an emergency meeting to
repeal the illegal and unconstitutional Socialist healthcare farce known as
Obamacare. The new Director of Health and Social Services Dr. Ben Carson
announces that an independent group of healthcare management professionals is hired to handle
healthcare services for poor and low income people. They are also assigned the
duty of eliminating Medicare and Medicaid fraud. Government’s costs for public
healthcare are reduced by 90%. Healthcare insurance premiums for working
Americans are reduced by 50%. The move saves billions of taxpayer paid dollars.
Healthcare service in the U.S improves 100%.
3. Newly
appointed Department of Homeland Security Chief Ted Cruz announces the
immediate deployment of troops to the U.S. Mexico border to control illegal
immigration and the immediate deportation of illegals with criminal records or
links to terrorist groups. New bio-encrypted Social Security ID’s are required
by every American citizen. Birthright is abolished. All immigration from
countries that represent a threat to the safety of American citizens is
terminated indefinitely. The move saves American taxpayers billions of dollars.
Several prisons are closed.
4. Newly
appointed Secretary of Business and Economic Development Carly Fiorina
eliminates more than half of the Government agencies operating under the Obama
administration saving taxpayers billions of dollars. Stocks rise 100%.
5. Newly
appointed Director of Government Finance Rand Paul announces the abolition of
the IRS and displays a copy of the new Federal Tax Return form. It consists of
one page. The instructions consist of two pages. The Federal Reserve is
audited. The move saves American Taxpayers billions of dollars and increases
tax revenue.
6. Hillary Clinton is in prison, where she belongs. Her cell is directly across
from Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton who are serving time for "Hate
Crimes". She bitches at them constantly from behind the bars of her
cell in what some call cruel and unusual punishment.
7. Bernie Sanders is in the nuthouse, where he belongs. His room is directly
across from Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Chris Matthews and Al
Franken. They meet for tea every day at 10 AM and discuss the success and
benefits of Communism and Socialism throughout the world. They also wonder when
the "Mothership" is going to pick them up and return them to their
home planets.
8. Windows 12 is released. It is designed for humans, doesn’t try to satisfy
the needs of every person on the planet, doesn’t require a degree in nuclear
physics to operate and looks just like Windows 7 except it is easier to use.
9. Barack Obama flees the United States under the cover of darkness and returns
to his homeland of Kenya before his trial for treason begins. He deplanes on a
remote jungle airstrip. It was reported that he was last seen wandering through
the jungle singing “Hakuna Matata” with a chimp named Commie.
10. Oscar Meyer announces the introduction of a new cholesterol and fat free
pepperoni that tastes just like regular pepperoni.
11. Not to be outdone, Kraft Foods announces the introduction of several
varieties of cholesterol and fat free cheeses that taste just like regular
cheese.
12. A committee is not established to determine what is causing global cooling.
Billions of taxpayer dollars are saved.
13. Dead people are
no longer allowed to vote in Chicago, a huge blow for the Democrat Party in the
State of Illinois.
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