An Arkansas Boy goes off to college

Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all of his
money on his girlfriend, he calls home.
"Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is
developing! They actually have a program here at Hendrix that will
teach our dog, Ole' Blue how to talk!"

"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ole' Blue in that program?"
"Just send him over here with $1,000" the young Arkie says "and I'll
get him in the course."

So, his Father sends the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds of the way
through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.
"So how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his Father asks.
"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't
believe this -- they've had such good results they have started to
teach the animals how to read!"

"Read!?" says his Father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."

The money promptly arrives. The Arkie and his girlfriend are able to
buy enough marijuana to last the whole semester. But our hero has a
problem. At the end of the year, his Father will find out the dog can
neither talk, nor read. Even though he was always pretty much able to
lie his way out of trouble, the Arkie asked his girlfriend to help him
think of a really good lie to tell his Dad. She very quickly came up
with a plan for him. So she has him shoot the dog. When he arrives
home at the end of the year, his Father is all excited.

"Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just
before we left to drive home, Ole' Blue was in the living room, kicked
back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually
does".    "Then Ole' Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your Daddy
still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the
street?"

The Father went white and exclaimed, "I hope you shot that lying damn
dog before he talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!"  "That's my boy!"    The kid married his
girlfriend, they both went on to law school in Fayetteville , he
became Governor of Arkansas and then President of the United States,
and you already know what a lying bitch his girlfriend turned out to
be!