10 Alternative Approaches to Afghans

"It's becoming clear that the more the United States apologizes to Afghanistan for burning a few Korans, the more Afghans leap into the streets. So White House Dossier has helpfully compiled for Obama a list of ten alternative approaches that the president could have taken to deal with the problem. ...

1. Dedicate a round of golf to the people of Afghanistan.

2. Send Michelle for a symbolic vacation to Jalalabad.

3. Ask the Afghans if they'd like the Russians back instead.

4. Head to a local Afghan restaurant and bow to the wait staff.

5. Offer to make Afghanistan's heroin 'The Official Heroin of the United States.'

6. Give Afghan children a permanent exemption from Michelle's 'Let's Move' school lunch offerings.

7. Provide unlimited, free doses of Prozac to the entire adult population of Afghanistan.

8. Change the lyrics of O Tannenbaum to O Taliban.

9. Set up a program to provide virgins to Afghan men who refuse to commit suicide bombings.

10. Demand an apology from Afghanistan for the more than 1,800 U.S. forces killed since the start of the war."

--White House Dossier's Keith Koffler