Tuesday, April 29, 2014

The Cow, The Ant, and The Old Fart


A cow, an ant and an old fart are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them.

· The cow said, "I give 20 quarts of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest!"

· The ant said, "I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that's why I am the greatest!"




Why are you scrolling down?  It's your turn to say something.

A Slimy Politician Calls You A Liar

Is he a liar, senile, evil, or all of the above?

It was last Thursday that Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid claimed that he never said ObamaCare stories -- to his recollection -- were lies. And yet, exactly one month earlier, Reid said the "tales" were "made up from whole cloth, lies distorted by the Republicans ..." 

No, he's not lying; he just doesn't recall. What a geezer! [America Rising]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=nefN-QvOPXY



Monday, April 28, 2014

Judas Asparagus

If you need a laugh today, then this should do it!  

A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible.  This is amazing and brought tears of laughter to my eyes. 
I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand  what we are teaching???

Through the eyes of a child:

The Children's Bible in a Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas.  The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. 
Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. 
Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve  Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. 

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.....Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham.  Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it.   He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast.  Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston.  Moses led the Israel Lights out of  Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people.  These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

  God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti.  Then he gave them His Top Ten  Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff.

Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies.  Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David.  He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot.  He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines.  My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets.  One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. 

There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament.  Jesus is the star of The New.  He was born   in  Bethlehem  in a barn.  (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees, the Democrats, and the Republicans. 

Jesus also had twelve opossums.
The worst one was Judas Asparagus.  Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man.  He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.

But the Democrats, the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot.  Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus.  He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again.  He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum.  His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

-------You must share this delightful story! --------



Another Day That Will Live In Infamy

Days of Infamy:  
Pearl Harbor Attack on December 7, 1941 
New York, Pentagon, & Shanksville PA on September 11, 2001
Obama Reelection on November 7, 2014

Time is like a river.  You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again.

Written by a USMC Vet.  (I can't argue with any of it.  Passing it along as it was received.)

He wrote:

The  American Dream ended on November 6, 2012 in the USA.  The second term of Barack Obama will be the final nail in the coffin for the legacy of the white Christian males who discovered, explored, pioneered, settled, and developed the greatest Republic in the history of mankind.

A coalition of Blacks, Latinos, Feminists, Gays, Government Workers, Union Members, Environmental Extremists, The Media, Hollywood, uninformed young people, the "forever needy", the chronically unemployed, illegal aliens and other "fellow travelers" have ended Norman Rockwell's America.

The Cocker Spaniel is off the front  porch. The Pit Bull is in the back yard.  The American Constitution has been replaced with Saul Alinsky's "Rules for Radicals" and Chicago shyster, David  Axelrod, along with international Socialist George Soros will be pulling the strings on their beige puppet to bring us Act 2 of the New World Order.

Our side ran two candidates who couldn't even win their own home states, and Chris Christie helped Obama over the top with a glowing "post Sandy" tribute that elevated the "Commander-in-Chief" to Mother Teresa status.  (Aside: with the way the polls were run, he didn't need  any help!)

People like me are completely politically irrelevant, and I will never again comment on or concern myself with the aforementioned coalition which has surrendered our culture, our heritage and our traditions without a shot being fired.

You will never again out-vote these people.  It will take individual acts of defiance and massive displays of civil disobedience to get back the rights we have allowed them to take away.  It will take Zealots, not  moderates & shy not reach-across-the-aisle RINOs to right this ship and restore our beloved country to its former status.

Those who come after us will have to risk their lives, their fortunes and their sacred honor to bring  back the Republic that this generation has timidly frittered away due to "white  guilt" and political correctness...

An American  Veteran………………….. Semper Fi


Got the guts to pass it on?

(YOU BET I DO, and hope you do too)


Should have seen it coming

They didn’t plan to fail, but they failed to plan . . .



The Dallas Solution

The Dallas Solution

I have a friend who is president of his homeowners association in the Dallas, Texas suburbs. They were having a terrible problem with litter near some of his association's homes. The reason, according to my friend, is that six very large, luxurious new houses are being built right next to their community.

The trash was coming from the Mexican laborers working at the construction sites and included bags from McDonald's, Burger King and 7-11, plus coffee cups, napkins, cigarette butts, coke cans, empty bottles, etc.  He went to see the site supervisor and even the general contractor, politely urging them to get their workers not to litter the neighborhood, to no avail. He called the city, county, and police and got no help there either.

So here's what his community did. They organized about twenty folks, named themselves the "Inner Neighborhood Services" group, and arranged to go out at lunch time and "police" the trash themselves. It is what they did while picking up the trash that is so hilarious.
 
They bought navy blue baseball caps and had the initials "INS" embroidered in gold on the caps.
 
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand what they hoped people might mistakenly think the letters really stand for.
 
After the Inner Neighborhood Services group's first lunch time pickup detail, with all of them wearing their caps and some carrying cameras, 46 out of the total of 68 construction workers did not show up for work the next morning -- and haven't come back yet.
 
It has been ten days now.
 
The General Contractor, I'm told, is madder than hell, but can't say anything publicly because he could be busted for hiring illegal aliens. My friend and his bunch can't be accused of impersonating federal personnel, because they have the official name of the group recorded in their homeowner association minutes along with a notation about the vote to approve formation of the new subcommittee -- and besides, they informed the INS in advance of their plans, and according to my friend, the INS said basically, "Have at it!"
 
SO, FOLKS, I THINK YOU COULD SAY THAT TEXAS INGENUITY TRIUMPHS AGAIN!
 
Reminder: Don't forget to pay your taxes....... 12 million illegal aliens are depending on you.
 
No apology for sending this! After hearing they want to sing the National Anthem in Spanish - enough is enough.  Nowhere did they sing it in Italian, Polish, Irish (Celtic), German or any other language because of immigration. It was written by Francis Scott Key and should be sung word for word the way it was written. The news broadcasts even gave the translation -- not even close. I'm NOT sorry if this offends anyone because this is MY COUNTRY - IF IT IS YOUR COUNTRY, SPEAK UP --   Please pass this along.   Come through like everyone else. APPLY FIRST - Get a sponsor; have a place to lay your head; have a job; pay your taxes, live by the rules AND LEARN THE LANGUAGE as all other immigrants have in the past -- and GOD BLESS AMERICA!
 
PART OF THE PROBLEM
Think about this: If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM!
It is Time for America to Speak up. No wonder, California is in such financial trouble!

Yep, I passed it on!  Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug dealer an 'unlicensed pharmacist'

Best Description Of Barack Obama Ever Written

Very Interesting!!!!!

This is a must read and pass on to others
  
Best Description Of Barack Obama Ever Written

The first paragraph of Mr. Wheelers statement is perfect.

Jack Wheeler is a brilliant man who was the author of Reagan's strategy to break the back of the Soviet Union with the star wars race and expose their inner weakness. For years he wrote a weekly intelligence update that was extremely interesting and well structured and informative. He consults(ed) with several mega corporations on global trends and the future, etc. He is in semi-retirement now. He is a true patriot with a no-nonsense approach to everything. He is also a somewhat well-known mountain climber and adventurer.

Written by Dr. Jack Wheeler

The O-man, Barack Hussein Obama, is an eloquently tailored empty suit. No resume, no accomplishments, no experience, no original ideas, no understanding of how the economy works, no understanding of how the world works, no balls, nothing but abstract, empty rhetoric devoid of real substance.

He has no real identity. He is half-white, which he rejects. The rest of him is mostly Arab, which he hides but is disclosed by his non-African Arabic surname and his Arabic first and middle names as a way to triply proclaim his Arabic parentage to people in Kenya . Only a small part of him is African Black from his Luo grandmother, which he pretends he is exclusively.

What he isn't, not a genetic drop of, is 'African-American,' the descendant of enslaved Africans brought to America chained in slave ships. He hasn't a single ancestor who was a slave. Instead, his Arab ancestors were slave owners. Slave-trading was the main Arab business in East Africa for centuries until the British ended it.

Let that sink in: Obama is not the descendant of slaves, he is the descendant of slave owners. Thus he makes the perfect Liberal Messiah.

It's something Hillary doesn't understand - how some complete neophyte came out of the blue and stole the Dem nomination from her. Obamamania is beyond politics and reason. It is a true religious cult, whose adherents reject Christianity yet still believe in Original Sin, transferring it from the evil of being human to the evil of being white.

Thus Obama has become the white liberals' Christ, offering absolution from the Sin of Being White. There is no reason or logic behind it, no faults or flaws of his can diminish it, no arguments Hillary could make of any kind can be effective against it. The absurdity of Hypocrisy Clothed In Human Flesh being their Savior is all the more cause for liberals to worship him: Credo quia absurdum, I believe it because it is absurd.

Thank heavens that the voting majority of Americans remain Christian and are in no desperate need of a phony savior.

He is ridiculous and should not be taken seriously by any thinking American.

And yet he got elected, not once but twice. Thanks to those that did not think it was important to vote for freedom and those that were willing to give up their freedoms for entitlements.

Remember you don't have to be on a southern plantation to be a slave, if you are dependent on government entitlements you just have a different slave owner.


PASS THIS ON TO EVERY THINKING AMERICAN YOU KNOW!