My Living Will

I, ____________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills.

If after a reasonable amount of time passes, and I fail to ask for: (Check appropriate items): a Martini ______, a Margarita ______, a Scotch and soda ______, a Bloody Mary______, a beer ______, a Gin and Tonic _______, a Glass of Chardonnay ______, a Steak ______, Lobster or crab legs ______, the TV remote control ______, a bowl of ice cream ______, the sports page______, Sex______, or Chocolate_______, it should be presumed that I won't ever get any better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day. At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band or a pipe & drum band to come and do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

Signature:________________________Date:__________

P.S. I hear that in Ireland there is a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are happier, and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them don't even need embalming when their time comes. If anyone knows the name of this happy place, PLEASE pass it on.

Amendment #1:
Should I become incapacitated as described above, DO NOT PULL THE PLUG until after I have voted against
Barack Obama by absentee ballot in the November 2012 election.

Only in America

1) Only in America could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000 a plate campaign fund raising event.

2) Only in America could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when we have a black President, a black Attorney General, and roughly 18% of the federal workforce is black -- while only 12% of the population is black.

3) Only in America could we have had the two people most responsible for our tax code, Timothy Geithner, the head of the Treasury Department and Charles Rangel who once ran the Ways and Means Committee, BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.

4) Only in America can we have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.

5) Only in America would we make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege, while we discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just become American citizens.

6) Only in America could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country's Constitution be thought of as "extremists."

7) Only in America could you need to present a driver's license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.

8) Only in America could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. oil company (Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes (Nike).

9) Only in America could the government collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a trillion dollars more than it has per year for total spending of $7 million PER MINUTE, and complain that it doesn't have nearly enough money.

10) Only in America could the rich people who pay 86% of all income taxes be accused of not paying their "fair share" by people who don't pay any income taxes at all.

Four Things To Keep in MInd When Voting This Year

1. Justice Scalia is 76
2. Justice Kennedy is 76
3. Justice Breyer is 74
4. Justice Ginsburg turned 79 and is reportedly quite ill.

Ten Short Love Stories

1] Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O- blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin brother has O- blood. I explained to him that it was a matter of life and death. He sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to his parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took his blood and he asked, “So when will I die?” He thought he was giving his life for hers. Thankfully, they’ll both be fine.   ...Beautiful!!

2] Today, I told my 18 year old grandson that nobody asked me to prom when I was in high school, so I didn’t attend. He showed up at my house this evening dressed in a tuxedo and took me as his date to his prom.

3] Today, my dad is the best dad I could ask for. He’s a loving husband to my mom (always making her laugh), he’s been to every one of my soccer games since I was 5 (I’m 17 now), and he provides for our family as a construction foreman. This morning when I was searching through my dad’s toolbox for a pliers, I found a dirty folded up paper at the bottom. It was an old journal entry in my dad’s handwriting dated exactly one month before the day I was born. It reads, “I am eighteen years old, an alcoholic who is failing out of college, a past cutter, and a child abuse victim with a criminal record of auto theft. And next month, ‘teen father’ will be added to the list. But I swear I will make things right for my little girl. I will be the dad I never had.” And I don’t know how he did it, but he did it.

4] Today, my 21 year old Labrador can barely stand up, can’t see, can’t hear, and doesn’t have enough strength to bark. But it doesn’t stop her from wagging her tail a mile a minute every single time I walk into the room.

5] Today is our 10th anniversary, but since my husband and I are both recently unemployed we agreed not to get each other any gifts. When I woke up this morning, my husband was already up. I walked downstairs to find beautiful wild flowers brilliantly arranged all over the house. There must be 400 flowers total and he didn’t spend a dime.

6] Today, my 12-year-old son, Sean, and I stopped by the nursing home together for the first time in several months. Usually I come alone see my mother who’s suffering from Alzheimer’s. When we walked into the lobby, the nurse said, “Hi, Sean!” and then buzzed us in. “How does she know your name?” I asked. “Oh, I swing by here on my walk home from school all the time to say hi to Grandma,” Sean said. I had no idea.

7] Today, I’ve been chemistry lab partners with one of the most beautiful (and popular) girls at our school since the beginning of the school year. And although I never would have had the courage to talk to her otherwise, she’s totally down to earth and sweet. We spend our time in the lab chatting, laughing, and getting A’s (she’s smart too), and just recently we started talking a little bit outside of class too. Last week when I heard that she didn’t have a date to our homecoming dance, I desperately wanted to ask her, but chickened out every time I was about to. Then this afternoon, at lunchtime, she ran up to me and formally asked me to ask her to the dance. So I did, and she kissed me on the cheek and said, “Yes!”

8] Today, my autistic little sister spoke her first word at the age of 6 – my name.

9] Today, my father found my little sister alive, chained up in a barn. She was abducted near Mexico City almost 5 months ago. Authorities stopped actively searching for her a few weeks later. My mom and I laid her soul to rest. We had a funeral for her last month. All of our family and friends attended the ceremony except my father. Instead he kept looking for her. He said he “loved her too much to give up.” And she’s back home now because he never did.

]10 Today, my 88-year-old grandmother and her 17 year old cat are both blind. My grandmother’s guide dog leads my grandmother around the house, which is normal. But lately, he’s been guiding her cat around the house too. When her cat meows, he walks up and rubs against her, and then she follows directly behind him to her food, to the litter box, to the other end of the house for a nap, etc.

An Overdose of Hope

The Democrats are done weaving their web in Charlotte, and wow, what a web it was—an intricate lattice of multicolored Silly String that included everyone and said nothing.

Great article:

http://takimag.com/article/an_overdose_of_hope_takimag/print#ixzz25zID7zYj

Knights of the Immaculata - Defending the Faith Against Freemasons

The Militia Immaculata, or "Army of the Immaculate," (also called the Knights of the Immaculata in the USA^[1][2]) is a worldwide Catholic evangelization movement founded by St. Maximilian Kolbe in 1917.^[3]

The organization was formed in response to protests against the Pope by Freemasons in Rome^[4][5]. The MI, as it is also known, is open to all Catholics and encourages intercession to the Virgin Mary for the conversion of sinners. Joining the MI involves making a vow of consecration to Mary. Members wear the Miraculous Medal as an outward sign of their consecration.

“	The purpose of the Knights is contained in these words: to do all you can for the conversion of sinners, heretics, schismatics and so on, above all the Masons, and for the sanctification of all persons under the sponsorship of the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Immaculate Mediatrix.	”
—Fr. Maximilian Kolbe, 1938[2]

The organization publishes Miles Immaculatae, a six-monthly magazine of Marian culture and Kolbian formation. Founded by St. Maximilian Kolbe, specifically for priests and pastoral workers, it is now the official publication of the International Center.^[6]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Militia_Immaculata

Papal Ban of Freemasonry

The leadership of the Roman Catholic Church has long been an outspoken critic of Freemasonry, first prohibiting Catholics from joining the fraternity in 1738.

Since then, the Vatican has made several pronouncements forbidding Catholics from becoming Freemasons under threat of excommunication.

Although there was some confusion of the issue following Vatican Council II, the Church still prohibits membership in the Freemasons because it believes that the principles of Freemasonry and the teaching of the Catholic Church are irreconcilable.

A 1983 statement from the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith approved by Pope John Paul II stated "The faithful who enroll in Masonic associations are in a state of grave sin and may not receive Holy Communion." and "... membership in them (Masonic associations) remains forbidden."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Papal_ban_of_Freemasonry