Tell Me This Will Not Happen To Us

An elderly Floridian called 911 on his cell phone to report
     that his car has been broken into. He is hysterical as he
     explains his situation to the dispatcher: 'They've
     stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and
     even the accelerator!' he cried.. The dispatcher said,
     'Stay calm... An officer is on the way.' A few minutes
     later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says.
     'He got in the back-seat by mistake.'
        
     TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!
  
______________________________ ______________________________ ____________
  
  
     Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house
     together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts
     her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters,
     'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The
     94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come
     up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses
     'Was I going up the stairs or down? The 92-year-old is
     sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her
     sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I
     never get that forgetful, knock on wood...' She then
    yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as
     I see who's at the door.'
  
  
     TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!!
  
______________________________ ______________________________ ____________
  
  
  
     'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'
  
     Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf
     one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy,
     isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied,
     'it's Thursday.' And the third man chimed in,
     'So am I. Let's have a beer.'
  
  
  
     TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!!
  
______________________________ ______________________________ ___________
  
     A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a
    nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of
     her nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to
     an elderly man in a wheelchair.. Flipping her gown at him,
     she said, 'Supersex...' He sat silently for a moment
     or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'
  
  
     TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!!
  
______________________________ ______________________________ ______
  
   

   
    Two elderly gentlemen had been friends for many decades. Over
     the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and
     adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to
    meeting a few times a week to play cards.
  
     One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the
     other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me .... I know
     we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't
     think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I
     can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is..
  
     His friend stared at him for at least three minutes -- he
     just stared and stared at him. Finally he said, 'How
     soon do you need to know?'
  
  
     TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!!
  
______________________________ ______________________________ ___________
  
     SENIOR DRIVING
  
     As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car
     phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice
     urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news
     that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
     Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman,
     'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of  them!'
  
  
     TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
  
______________________________ ____________________ _______________
  
     DRIVING
  
     Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both
     could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising
     along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red,
     but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger
     seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could
     have sworn we just went through a red light.'
  
     After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection
     and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The
     woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light
     had been red but was really concerned that she was losing
     it. She was getting nervous.
  
     At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red
     and they went on through. So, She turned to the other woman
     and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran
     through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us
     both!'
  
     Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'
  
  
     TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO YOU OR ME

Walkopedia: The World's Best Walks

I just discovered this website - http://www.walkopedia.net/index.asp

The world's 100 best walks

What are the world's 100 best walks?

Here is our current Top 10:

1.     Mount Kailash Kora, China

2.     Inca Trails, Peru

3.     Mustang, Nepal

4.     Petra Area, Jordan

5.     The Dolomites, Italy

6.     Torajaland, Indonesia

7.     Drakensberg Escarpment, South Africa

8.     Garwhal, Kumaon Himalaya , India

9.     Source of the Ganges and Above, India

Cappadocia, Turkey

Here are the top 100 walks:  http://www.walkopedia.net/100-best.asp

Sep 2: 185 Massacred in Paris by Secular Progressives

See what happens when secular progressive Democrats take over your country?  

Obama and Hillary believe that your rights come not from God but from government – rights of man vs God-given rights!

During the French Revolution, the Civil Constitution of the Clergy (1791) required all priests to take an oath which amounted to a denial of the faith.

Each of these men refused and was executed.  We venerate them today.

John Francis Burté became a Franciscan at 16 and after ordination taught theology to the young friars. Later he was guardian of the large Conventual friary in Paris until he was arrested and held in the convent of the Carmelites.

Appolinaris of Posat was born in 1739 in Switzerland. He joined the Capuchins and acquired a reputation as an excellent preacher, confessor and instructor of clerics. Sent to the East as a missionary, he was in Paris studying Oriental languages when the French Revolution began. Refusing the oath, he was swiftly arrested and detained in the Carmelite convent.

Severin Girault, a member of the Third Order Regular, was a chaplain for a group of sisters in Paris. Imprisoned with the others, he was the first to die in the slaughter at the convent.

These three plus 182 others—including several bishops and many religious and diocesan priests—were massacred at the Carmelite house in Paris on September 2, 1792.

They were beatified in 1926.

Sep 2: 185 Massacred in Paris by Secular Progressives

See what happens when secular progressive Democrats take over your country?  

Obama and Hillary believe that your rights come not from God but from government – rights of man vs God-given rights!

During the French Revolution, the Civil Constitution of the Clergy (1791) required all priests to take an oath which amounted to a denial of the faith.

These 3 men refused and were executed.  We venerate them today.

John Francis Burté became a Franciscan at 16 and after ordination taught theology to the young friars. Later he was guardian of the large Conventual friary in Paris until he was arrested and held in the convent of the Carmelites.

Appolinaris of Posat was born in 1739 in Switzerland. He joined the Capuchins and acquired a reputation as an excellent preacher, confessor and instructor of clerics. Sent to the East as a missionary, he was in Paris studying Oriental languages when the French Revolution began. Refusing the oath, he was swiftly arrested and detained in the Carmelite convent.

Severin Girault, a member of the Third Order Regular, was a chaplain for a group of sisters in Paris. Imprisoned with the others, he was the first to die in the slaughter at the convent.

These three plus 182 others—including several bishops and many religious and diocesan priests—were massacred at the Carmelite house in Paris on September 2, 1792.

They were beatified in 1926.

Virtual Tour of St. Giles, France (near Arles)

Here’s a virtual tour of St. Giles Monastery in St. Giles, France . . .

http://peregrinations.kenyon.edu/gilles_photoessay/StGilles-du-Gard.html

St. Giles   (d. 710?)

Despite the fact that much about St. Giles is shrouded in mystery, we can say that he was one of the most popular saints in the Middle Ages. Likely, he was born in the first half of the seventh century in southeastern France. That is where he built a monastery that became a popular stopping-off point for pilgrims making their way to Compostela in Spain and the Holy Land.

In England, many ancient churches and hospitals were dedicated to Giles. One of the sections of the city of Brussels is named after him. In Germany, Giles was included among the so-called 14 Holy Helpers, a popular group of saints to whom people prayed, especially for recovery from disease and for strength at the hour of death. Also among the 14 were Sts. Christopher, Barbara and Blaise. Interestingly, Giles was the only non-martyr among them. Devotion to the "Holy Helpers" was especially strong in parts of Germany and in Hungary and Sweden. Such devotion made his popularity spread. Giles was soon invoked as the patron of the poor and the disabled.

The pilgrimage center that once drew so many fell into disrepair some centuries after Giles' death.

Do you suffer from panic attacks, madness, or nightmares?

Today, we call on #11 . . .

August 8:  Feast of the 14 Holy Helpers (no longer officially observed now that we have no plague)

The Fourteen Holy Helpers are invoked as a group because of the Black Plague which devastated Europe from 1346 to 1349. Among its symptoms were the black tongue, a parched throat, violent headache, fever, and boils on the abdomen. The victims were attacked without warning, robbing them of their reason, and killed within a few hours; many died without the last Sacraments. No one was immune, and the disease wreaked havoc in villages and family circles. The epidemic appeared incurable. The pious turned to Heaven, begging the intervention of the saints, praying to be spared or cured. Each of these fourteen saints had been efficacious in interceding in some aspect for the stricken during the Black Plague. The dates are the traditional feast days; not all the saints are on the General Roman Calendar.

1. St. George (April 23rd), soldier-martyr. Invoked for protection for domestic animals and against herpetic diseases. Also patron of soldiers, England, Portugal, Germany, Aragon, Genoa and Venice.
2. St. Blaise (also Blase and Blasius) (February 3rd), bishop and martyr. He is invoked against diseases of the throat. Blessing of the throats takes place on his feast day.
3. St. Erasmus (also St. Elmo) (June 2nd), bishop and martyr. He is invoked against diseases of the stomach and intestine, protection for domestic animals and patron of sailors.
4. St. Pantaleon (July 27th), bishop and martyr. Invoked against consumption, protection for domestic animals and patron of physicians and midwives.
5. St. Vitus (also St. Guy) (June 15th), martyr. Invoked in epilepsy, chorea ("St. Vitus' dance"), lethargy, and the bites of poisonous or mad animals and against storms. Also protection for domestic animals. Patron of dancer and actors.
6. St. Christopher (also Christophorus) (July 25th), martyr. Invoked against the plague and sudden death. He is the patron of travelers, especially motorists, and is also invoked in storms.
7. St. Denis (also Dionysius) (October 9th), bishop and martyr. Invoked against diabolical possession and headaches.
8. St. Cyriacus (also Cyriac) (August 8th), deacon and martyr. Invoked against diseases of the eye and diabolical possession. Also interceded for those in temptation, especially at the time of death.
9. St. Acathius (also Acacius) (May 8th), martyr. Invoked against headaches and at the time of death's agony.
10. St. Eustace (also Eustachius, Eustathius) (September 20th), martyr. Invoked against fire — temporal and eternal. Patron of hunters. Patron in all kinds of difficulties, and invoked in family troubles.
11. St. Giles (also Aegidius) (September 1st), hermit and abbot. Invoked against the plague, panic, epilepsy, madness, and nightmares and for a good confession. Patron of cripples, beggars, and breastfeeding mothers.
12. St. Margaret of Antioch (July 20th), virgin and martyr. Invoked against backache. Patron for women in childbirth.
13. St. Catherine of Alexandria (November 25th), virgin and martyr. Invoked against diseases of the tongue, protection against a sudden and unprovided death. Patroness of Christian philosophers, of maidens, preachers, wheelwrights and mechanics. She is also invoked by students, orators, and barristers as "the wise counselor."
14. St. Barbara (December 4th), virgin and martyr. Invoked against fever and sudden death. Patron of builders, artillerymen and miners. Also invoked against lightning, fire and sudden death.

http://www.catholicculture.org/culture/liturgicalyear/calendar/day.cfm?date=2015-08-08

I Was Once Very Popular, But Now I Am Mostly Forgotten

I was once a very popular saint with churches and towns named for me, but now I am mostly forgotten in this secular age . . .

St. Giles (7th c.) was born to a noble Greek family. He devoted his life to the things of God and grew in sanctity. To escape the praise of men for his material and spiritual riches, he sold all of his possessions, gave his wealth to the poor, and moved away to Gaul (present day France) to live in solitude as a cave-dwelling hermit in the wilderness. He lived in this way without companionship for many years while practicing severe penances. He became so impoverished that God sent a deer to be his companion and to nourish him with its milk.

One day a hunter in pursuit of the deer came to the cave where it dwelt with St. Giles. The hunter shot an arrow into the cave, and instead of hitting the deer, he injured the saint. St. Giles was discovered and soon became known throughout the countryside. He consented to receive disciples who desired to imitate his way of life.

He founded a monastery at his cave under the Rule of St. Benedict and became abbot. St. Giles was known as a miracle worker even during his life, and he became one of the most popular saints in the Middle Ages.

He is the patron of lepers, hermits, beggars, cripples, disabled, rams, and woods. 

St. Giles' feast day is September 1st.