Friday, June 29, 2012

Redneck Fishing


A Redneck was recently stopped by a game warden in Tennessee for having two ice chests full of fish. He was leaving a cove well known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?'
'Naw, sir', replied the redneck. 'I ain't got none of them there licenses. You must understand, these here are my pet fish.'

'Pet fish?'

'Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let 'em swim around for a while. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests and I take 'em home.'

'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that.'

The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, 'It's the truth, Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works.'

'OK', said the warden. 'I've got to see this!'

The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?'

'Well, what?,' says the redneck.

The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?'

'Call who back?'

'The FISH!' replied the warden.

'What fish?,' replied the redneck . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.

How To Smoke A Cigar Without Looking Like An Amateur

http://www.businessinsider.com/cigar-smoking-tips-2012-6

The Biggest Mistake You Can Make While Smoking A Cigar

http://www.businessinsider.com/dont-use-a-zippo-lighter-on-a-cigar-2012-6

Retired Engineer

As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither.

Ted is such a person:


Quote From Ted:

"I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired?' Well, I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and Jack Daniels into urine. Then I pee on a photo of Obama, I do it every day and I really enjoy it."

Ted is an inspiration to all...



Alzheimer's Triggered by Stress

http://video.foxnews.com/v/1708179116001/

32 Grieving Parents with Absolute Moral Authority over Obama

I know you're busy writing to your friends to ask them to skip your birthday present this year and send the cash to Obama, but I just want to interrupt you for a minute to introduce you to 32 parents who probably won't be fundraising for Obama anytime soon.

Kent and Josephine Terry are the parents of slain Border Patrol Agent Brian Terry, who sacrificed his life protecting ours. Last week, they spoke up for the first time with a message to Obama, who has asserted executive privilege to hide documents on Operation Fast and Furious.

When asked what they'd say to Obama and Eric Holder, Kent Terry replied, "I probably couldn't say on camera what I'd like to say to them. But I'd say get their heads out of their butt anyway."

(Please don't share this quote with the "important" gay activists whom Obama invited to the White House, where they ran riot, kissing and exposing their middle digits to Reagan's portrait. They might get too excited.)

Brian Terry was murdered in December 2010 with guns from Obama's Fast and Furious program, which is politely (and fictitiously) described as a botched gun-tracing operation. Somehow this "botching" resulted in the most violent Mexican drug cartels being armed with thousands of assault weapons, which they used to slaughter 300 Mexicans and Border Patrol Agent Brian Terry.

I'm not buying that Obama ever had any interest in reining in Mexican gangs. I think he and Holder looked across the border and said, "Hey, violent drug cartels with a bottomless capacity to launder cash and growing ties to Hezb'allah and Iranian terrorists. Those are our kind of guys!"

Which brings us to Mary and Amador Zapata, the parents of slain ICE agent Jaime Zapata. Last week, the Zapatas filed a $25-million wrongful death claim against the government.

Jaime Zapata was ambushed in a roadside attack in Mexico in February 2011, while working for the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency. Highly informed sources say that Zapata was investigating Fast and Furious at the time of his murder.

The Zapatas' lawsuit claims that Jaime Zapata informed his supervisors that he had misgivings about the safety of his trip but was ordered to go anyway. "All of these legitimate concerns were put aside ... and agents Avila and Zapata were required to follow orders," the lawyers wrote.

But, of course, Obama's withholding of Fast and Furious documents from Congress via executive privilege is all about "the principle of the matter," as spokesman Jay Carney asserted last week, with an admirably straight face. Obama's heart is pure as the Chicago snow.

Next, I'd like you to meet Daris and Janet Long, the parents of the late Private William Long. In June 2009, 23-year-old "Andy" Long was murdered at an Army recruitment center in Little Rock, Arkansas by an American-born Muslim convert. Daris, an ex-Marine, is on a grief-stricken mission to see his son awarded a Purple Heart, since he was killed on active duty in a jihad-inspired attack.

But good luck with that in Obama's regime. The purported commander-in-chief threatened to veto the 2012 Defense Authorization Act, because Congress had inserted a clause awarding Purple Hearts to Andy Long and the 12 murdered soldiers of Fort Hood.

Obama delights in handing out awards to those he deems worthy: why, just a few weeks ago, he gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to Delores Huerta, honorary chair of the Democratic Socialists of America, which describes itself as "the principal U.S. affiliate of the Socialist International."

But Obama is not terribly keen at recognizing the sacrifices of those who serve. (Although to be fair, he did tell troops stationed overseas, "You guys make a pretty good photo op.")

Obama's Department of "Justice" declined to press federal charges against Andy Long's murderer, Abdulhakim Mujahid Muhammad, formerly known as Carlos Bledsoe. Instead, the murder of a uniformed soldier on Army property was treated as a drive-by shooting. Similarly, the murder of 12 soldiers and a civilian at Fort Hood was deemed a state-level offense of "workplace violence," despite the passionate jihadist proclivities of alleged shooter Major Nidal Hasan.

A riveting new documentary, Losing Our Sons, tells the story of Daris Long's quest for justice for his murdered son, and of Melvin Bledsoe's determination to expose the government's negligence that ruined the life of his promising son. Melvin, an African-American small business owner in Memphis, sent Carlos to Tennessee State University in Nashville. There he was recruited by radical Muslims, who sent him to a terrorist training camp in Yemen and brought him back to murder Andy Long.

Mike Huckabee featured Losing Our Sons on his Father's Day show on Fox, saying, "Get your friends and your family to see it. It opened my eyes to some things, and I thought I was fairly informed. And it is powerful. It is a gut punch."

When a mentally unbalanced bereaved mother named Cindy Sheehan theatrically pursued President George Bush for months after her son Casey was killed in Iraq, she was proclaimed to have "absolute moral authority" by New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd.

Well, I hereby proclaim the absolute moral authority of the Terrys, Zapatas, Longs, and the parents of the 13 men and women murdered at Fort Hood.

Maybe these bereaved mothers and fathers should take inspiration from Cindy Sheehan and join together for some attention-grabbing theater inside the Democratic National Convention. Considering all the anxious politicians beginning to bail out, they should find plenty of empty seats.

How about it? Why not make some noise and raise some hell? America is on your side.

And to prove it, let's all go to www.losingoursons.com and sign the petition to award a Purple Heart to Private William Long and the Fort Hood soldiers now.

Write Stella Paul at stellapundit@aol.com.





Two Glasses of Wine a Day Improves Life for Middle Aged

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/foodanddrinknews/9352383/Two-glasses-of-wine-a-day-improves-quality-of-life-for-middle-aged.html


Obama's Pentagon Holds First Ever Homosexual Pride Celebrartion

George Washington must be rolling over in his grave. The Pentagon under Commander-in-Chief Obama is on its way to becoming the world’s largest “gay pride” agency. Behold another tragic “first” for Obama: the first-ever homosexual “pride” celebration at the Department of Defense (Tuesday, June 26, 2012). Note how the organizers of “Pentagon Pride” slipped in “transgender” pride even though transgenders were not part of the law to homosexualize the military.

In reality, homosexuality and gender confusion are nothing to be proud of. Now, thanks to Obama and the Democrats (and some Republicans), our young military men and women will be force-fed the lie that homosexuality is “who you are,” like civil rights. And if history is our guide, LGBT activists will continue to agitate for greater and more prominent recognition of their aberrant lifestyles, at the taxpayers’ expense–using the military to grow their power. It is never good when noble institutions are used to promote moral corruption, which is why “Pentagon Pride” brings shame to our Armed Forces, and to America.

– Peter LaBarbera

Americans For Truth About Homosexuality (AFTAH)

http://americansfortruth.com/2012/06/21/obamas-pentagon-holds-first-ever-homosexual-pride-celebration/

Bar Joke

Guy goes into a bar in Louisiana where there's a robot bartender!

The robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Whiskey."

The robot brings back his drink and says to the man, "What's your IQ?"

The guy says," 168."

The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and
medical technology.

The guy leaves, . . . but he is curious . . . So he goes back into the bar.

The robot bartender says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Whiskey."

Again, the robot brings the man his drink and says, "What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "100."

The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser, the Saints and LSU Tigers

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will
try it one more time.

He goes back into the bar.

The robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Whiskey," and the robot brings him his whiskey.

The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "Uh, about 50."

The robot leans in real close and says, "SO, . . . you people . . . still happy . . . with Barak Obama???"
 

"Fathom the Hypocrisy of a Government that

requires every citizen to prove they are insured...

but not everyone must prove they are a citizen."

Food Stamp Fiasco

The Senate refuses to cut $20 billion out of $770 billion.

A record 44.7 million people received food stamps in fiscal 2011, up from 28.2 million as recently as 2008. The cost has more than doubled in that same period, to $78 billion, and is on track to account for 78% of farm bill spending over the next decade. One in seven Americans now qualifies.

Once there was a stigma to going on the dole, and it was seen as a last resort. But now the Agriculture Department runs radio and TV ads prodding people to get the free food, as in a recent campaign that says food stamps will help you lose weight. A federal website boasts about strategies that have "increased program participation" with special emphasis on Hispanics because "our data show that many low-income Latinos simply don't apply for [food stamps] even though they're eligible."

In the 1990s Bill Clinton boasted that welfare reform took Americans off the dole. The Obama Administration boasts about how many it has added.

Enter Alabama Republican Jeff Sessions, who proposed reforms to limit the worst excesses. One proposal would have established a federal asset test to ensure that food stamps aren't going to families that may not have an income but have tens of thousands of dollars in savings or may even live in a million-dollar home. Some 39 states have no real asset test for food stamps, which means wealthy families without anyone in the job market are eligible, and 27 have gross-income limits that are above 130% of the federal poverty guidelines.

That amendment lost 56-43, with every Democrat except Missouri's Claire McCaskill opposing it. New England Republicans Scott Brown, Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe and Nevada's Dean Heller joined the anti-reformers.

Mr. Sessions also tried to end the preposterous federal policy of paying some $500 million in bonuses to states that sign up more people for food stamps. This is the way government becomes a permanent feedback loop promoting even bigger government. That amendment lost 58-41, with every self-described Democratic "deficit hawk" opposed.

Shoe Bomber Sentence

Remember the guy who got on a plane with a bomb built into his shoe and tried to light it? 

Did you know his trial is over?
Did you know he was sentenced?
Did you see/hear any of the
judge's comments on TV or Radio?
Didn't think so.!!!



Everyone should hear what the judge had to say. 
 


Ruling by Judge William Young, US District Court.

Prior to sentencing, the Judge asked the defendant if he had anything to say  His response: After admitting his guilt to the court for the record, Reid also admitted his 'allegiance to

Osama bin Laden, to Islam, and to the religion of Allah,' defiantly stating, 'I think I will not apologize for my actions,' and told the court 'I am at war with your country.'



Judge Young then delivered the statement quoted below:

Judge Young:  'Mr. Richard C. Reid, hearken now to the sentence the Court imposes upon you.

On counts 1, 5 and 6 the Court sentences you to life in prison in the custody of the  United States  Attorney General.  On counts 2, 3, 4 and 7, the Court sentences you to 20 years in prison on each count, the sentence on each count to run consecutively.  (That's 80 years.)

On count 8 the Court sentences you to the mandatory 30 years again, to be served consecutively to the 80 years just imposed.  The Court imposes upon you for each of the eight counts a fine of $250,000 that's an aggregate fine of $2 million.  The Court accepts the government's recommendation with respect to restitution and orders restitution in the amount of $298.17 to Andre Bousquet and $5,784 to American Airlines.

The Court imposes upon you an $800 special assessment. The Court imposes upon you five years supervised release simply because the law requires it. But the life sentences are real life sentences so I need go no further. 

This is the sentence that is provided for by our statutes.  It is a fair and just sentence.  It is a righteous sentence.

Now, let me explain this to you.  We are not afraid of you or any of your terrorist co-conspirators, Mr. Reid.  We are Americans.  We have been through the fire before.  There is too much war talk here and I say that to everyone with the utmost respect.  Here in this court, we deal with individuals as individuals and care for individuals as individuals.  As human beings, we reach out for justice.

You are not an enemy combatant.  You are a terrorist. You are not a soldier in any war.  You are a terrorist.  To give you that reference, to call you a soldier, gives you far too much stature. Whether the officers of government do it or your attorney does it, or if you think you are a soldier, you are not-----, you are a terrorist.  And we do not negotiate with terrorists.  We do not meet with terrorists.  We do not sign documents with terrorists.  We hunt them down one by one and bring them to justice.

So war talk is way out of line in this court  You are a big fellow. But you are not that big.  You're no warrior.  I've known warriors. You are a terrorist.  A species of criminal that is guilty of multiple attempted murders.  In a very real sense, State Trooper Santiago had it right when you first were taken off that plane and into custody and you wondered where the press and the TV crews were, and he said: 'You're no big deal.'

You are no big deal.

What your able counsel and what the equally able  United States  attorneys have grappled with and what I have as honestly as I know how tried to grapple with, is why you did something so horrific.  What was it that led you here to this courtroom today?

I have listened respectfully to what you have to say. And I ask you to search your heart and ask yourself what sort of unfathomable hate led you to do what you are guilty and admit you are guilty of doing?  And, I have an answer for you.  It may not satisfy you, but as I search this entire record, it comes as close to understanding as I know.

It seems to me you hate the one thing that to us is most precious. You hate our freedom.  Our individual freedom.  Our individual freedom to live as we choose, to come and go as we choose, to believe or not believe as we individually choose.  Here, in this society, the very wind carries freedom.  It carries it everywhere from sea to shining sea.  It is because we prize individual freedom so much that you are here in this beautiful courtroom, so that everyone can see, truly see, that justice is administered fairly, individually, and discretely.  It is for freedom's sake that your lawyers are striving so vigorously on your behalf, have filed appeals, will go on in their representation of you before other judges.

We Americans are all about freedom.  Because we all know that the way we treat you, Mr. Reid, is the measure of our own liberties.  Make no mistake though.  It is yet true that we will bear any burden; pay any price, to preserve our freedoms.  Look around this courtroom.  Mark it well.  The world is not going to long remember what you or I say here.  The day after tomorrow, it will be forgotten, but this, however, will long endure.

Here in this courtroom and courtrooms all across America, the American people will gather to see that justice, individual justice, justice, not war, individual justice is in fact being done.  The very President of the  United States  through his officers will have to come into courtrooms and lay out evidence on which specific matters can be judged and juries of citizens will gather to sit and judge that evidence democratically, to mold and shape and refine our sense of justice.

See that flag, Mr. Reid?  That's the flag of the United States of America.  That flag will fly there long after this is all forgotten. That flag stands for freedom.  And it always will.

Mr. Custody Officer.  Stand him down.

So, how much of this Judge's comments did we hear on our TV sets?  We need more judges like Judge Young Pass this around.  Everyone should and needs to hear what this fine judge had to say. Powerful words that strike home. 

Voter Registration tool - verify your status if you have a question

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3. Share with others!

Obama to Implement Far Left Measures Before He Is Thrown Out of Office

Mr. Obama, all who surrounded him through his youth and all who surround him now, are dyed-in-the-wool and radical Progressives with a very different vision for the United States of America than that of our Founders and Framers. Pepper in a bit of Black Liberation Theology and Liberal self-loathing and you have a lethal potion suitable for snuffing out American exceptionalism.

Progressives like Mr. Obama are not satisfied that our Charters of Freedom, when protected and advanced as our Framers intended (safeguarding opportunity for all, making sure liberty and freedom are guarded and that the rights of the individual are secured so as to balance with the general welfare) work properly. They believe that the Constitution is a living thing that morphs with any particular historical situation; any societal crisis, and that a government run by “wise men”; by an elite class – under the guise of providing for the “general welfare” – should take an ever increasing role in “engineering” a “more perfect union.”

Because Progressives see themselves as not only more intelligent than the average American, but mandated, by virtue of this perceived superiority, I guarantee you that you will see Mr. Obama and his crew moving on several controversial measures; measures that are detrimental to the United States, to the Constitution and to sovereignty.

Should Mr. Obama find his back to the wall and inevitable defeat at his political door, he will advance more “executive” moves like the ipso facto amnesty we saw on June 15th, 2012. We will see him advance:

The Law of the Sea Treaty: As put succinctly by Julie Borowski, “Under this treaty, the UN would have control over 71 percent of the Earth’s surface. This would be a huge step towards global governance...President Ronald Reagan rejected LOST back in 1982, stating it would grant the UN the power to tax US companies and redistribute wealth from developed to undeveloped nations. For the first time in history, the UN would have the authority to collect taxes from US citizens. The thought of global taxation should send goose bumps down the spine of every American.”

The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child: As pointed out by Jackie Ammons, of Global Governance Watch, “The oversight responsibilities [of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child] fall to the United Nations as a whole, not necessarily to the individual countries that ratified the CRC. In an ideal situation, a country’s courts would use the CRC as guidance in its own rulings. But the CRC mandates more than guidance. If the United States ratified the CRC, it would give UN international courts the power to bypass US local, state, and federal courts and even the Supreme Court. Giving up the power of self-governance for the sake of an unclear and sometimes contradictory document is by no means a good decision for the US, for ratifying the CRC could make the US a target of UN sanctions.”

Acquiescence to the International Criminal Court: Marion Smith of The Heritage Foundation rightfully points out, “The most significant objection to the ICC...is one of principle. The spirit and the text of the Rome Statute, the ICC's founding treaty, foster an ever-reaching, ever-presumptuous global court. There's little respect for the local rule of law - even though that's historically where justice is usually realized, when self-governing people constitute a legitimate, accountable government and judicial system. Although Americans support justice, the United States shouldn't support the ICC because of the grave risk to American self-government.”



Progressive Arrogance

Dr. Thomas Sowell, the Friedman Senior Fellow on Public Policy at the Hoover Institution, Stanford University,recently wrote:

“What socialism, fascism and other ideologies of the left have in common is an assumption that some very wise people -- like themselves -- need to take decisions out of the hands of lesser people, like the rest of us, and impose those decisions by government fiat.

“The left’s vision is not only a vision of the world, but also a vision of themselves, as superior beings pursuing superior ends. In the United States, however, this vision conflicts with a Constitution that begins, ‘We the People...’

“That is why the left has for more than a century been trying to get the Constitution’s limitations on government loosened or evaded by judges’ new interpretations, based on notions of ‘a living Constitution’ that will take decisions out of the hands of ‘We the People,’ and transfer those decisions to our betters.”

If you are starting to recognize the arrogance of Progressivism in The Audacity of Hope, then you are paying attention, or starting to anyway. A tip-in would be to watch how incredibly irritated Mr. Obama’s became in his interaction with The Daily Caller’s Neil Munro after Mr. Munro, perhaps over-exuberantly, engaged Mr. Obama in the announcement of his ipso facto amnesty policy, and especially how he declares – unilaterally – that it is “the right thing to do.”

Historian Ranks Obama Legacy With Jimmy Carter’s

Edward Klein, author of a blockbuster new exposé about President Obama, offers a behind-the-scenes look at a White House dinner when Obama hosted nine presidential historians — and offered a “sneak preview” of his failed presidency.

Klein’s explosive book “The Amateur: Barack Obama in the White House” skyrocketed to the No. 1 spot on The New York Times list of hardcover nonfiction works in its first week in publication, and has remained there for four weeks in a row.

“There’s no doubt that Obama has turned out to be a major enigma and disappointment,” Klein quotes a historian as saying.
 
“People don’t feel that he’s on their side. Obama doesn’t connect. He doesn’t have the answers. He’s turned out to be a failure as a communicator . . .

“I wouldn’t bet the ranch on his getting re-elected.”

Klein concludes: “Obama might not have the place in history he so eagerly covets. Instead of ranking with FDR and Reagan and other giants, it seems more likely that he will be a case study in presidential failure like Jimmy Carter.”

Late Late Show Humor

The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson

•           Tonight was the premiere of a new version of the TV show "Dallas" with Larry Hagman. He was the original J.R. I used to watch him on "I Dream of Jeannie." He was an astronaut with a gorgeous genie in a skimpy outfit. She'd say, "Oh master, your wish is my command," and he'd say, "Just don't do magic." Even as a kid, I'm thinking, "She will do anything you want. You're an astronaut. Get her to launch a rocket or something."

•           The original "Dallas" series started in 1978. Back then, America was very different. We had an ineffective, one-term president. Gas prices were through the roof. We were in a stand-off with Iran. I'm glad those dark days are over.

Create Wealth Not Jobs

"Yes, government "creates" jobs, often out of thin air. The private sector creates wealth—which, in turn, allows us to fund the vital work of sending weapons to Mexican drug lords and prosecuting Roger Clemens."

~~David Harsanyi

Are You a Statist or Capitalist?

Difference between statists (Obama) & capitalists (Romney):

The statist is concerned with how to divide the pie "fairly" ...

The capitalist is concerned with making the pies.

Democrats Fear Obama Becoming Delusional

Obama Entering a World All His Own

By Peter Wehner

Barack Obama’s increasingly desperate struggle to win re-election is causing some of his worst traits to be put on display, including petulance and self-pity. The latest example occurred during a fundraiser in Baltimore, when the president said, “Because folks are still hurting right now, the other side feels that it’s enough for them to just sit back and say, ‘Things aren’t as good as they should be, and it’s Obama’s fault.’”

This is rich. No president in human history has quite equaled Obama when it comes to blaming others for his problems. And during the 2008 campaign, everything wrong with America could be laid squarely at the feet of President Bush. But now Obama, having presided over what at this stage must qualify as among the most inept presidencies in American history, is complaining because he’s being held accountable.

What is fairly astonishing in all this is the utter lack of self-awareness by the president. A jolting collision is occurring between his own self-conception (Obama views himself as a world-historical figure and Great Man) and the multiple and multiplying failures of his presidency. Obama appears incapable of processing the truth or coming to grips with reality. And so he’s spinning tales day after day, including his fantastic (and thoroughly discredited) claim that “Since I’ve been president, federal spending has risen at the lowest pace in nearly 60 years.”

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Stuff you didn't know you didn't know!


Stuff you didn't know you didn't know!

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better than men 
--------- --------- ---------

Coca-Cola was originally green.
 
------------ ---- 
It is impossible to lick 
your elbow. 
------------ 

The State with the 
highest percentage of people who walk to work:
 
Alaska 
------------ 
The percentage of 
Africa that is wilderness: 28% 
(now get this...)
 
------------ 
The percentage of 
North America that is wilderness: 38% 
------------ 

The cost of raising 
a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: 

$ 16,400
------------ 
The average number 
of people airborne over the U.S.
in any given hour:
 
61,000 
------------ 
Intelligent people 
have more zinc and copper in their hair..
 
------------ 
The first novel ever 
written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.
 
------------ 
The San Francisco 
Cable cars are the only mobile
National Monuments.
 
------------ 
Each king in a deck 
of playing cards represents a great king from history: 

Spades - King David 

Hearts - Charlemagne 

Clubs -Alexander, the Great 

Diamonds - Julius Caesar 
------------ 
111,111,111 x 
111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321
 
------------ 
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse 
has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. 
If the horse has one front leg in the air, 
the person died because of wounds received in battle. 
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes 
------------ 

Only two people 
signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4,
John Hancock and Charles Thomson.
Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later. 
------------ 

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
 

A. Their birthplace 
------------ 
Q. Most boat owners name their boats.
What is the most popular boat name requested? 

A. Obsession 
------------ 
Q.. If you were to spell out numbers,
how far would you have to go until you
would find the letter 'A'? 

A. One thousand 
------------ 
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes,
windshield wipers and laser printers have in common? 

A. All were invented
by women.
 
------------ 
Q. What is the only 
food that doesn't spoil? 

A. Honey
 
------------ 
Q. Which day are there more collect calls
than any other day of the year?
 

A. Father's Day
 
------------ 
-
In Shakespeare's time,
mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. 
When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, 
making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the 
phrase...'Goodnight , sleep tight' 
------------ 

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink.
Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month,which we know today as the honeymoon. 
------------ 

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when 
customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.' . . .

It's where we get 
the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'
 
------------ 

Many years ago in 
England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramiccups.
When they needed a refill , they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice. 
------------ 

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!
 
------------ 

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING
IN 
2012 when... 

1. You accidentally 
enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't 
played solitaire with real cards in years.
 

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers
to reach your family of three.
 

4. You e-mail the person who
works at the desk next to you.
 

5. Your reason for not staying in touch
with friends and family is that they 
don't have e-mail addresses. 

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your
cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you
carry in thegroceries...
 

7. Every commercial on television
has a web site at the bottom of the screen 

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone,
which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it
 

10. You get up in the morning and go on line
before getting your coffee
 

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 

12 You're reading this and
nodding and laughing.
 

13. Even worse, you know exactly
to whom you are going to forward this message.
 

14. You are too busy
to notice there was no #9 on this list. 

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list
 .

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
 

NOW you're LAUGHING at yourself!
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused!" (Unknown Author)

Why????


Here's a question for you.

The Secret Service scandal was discovered when a disagreement on how much a prostitute wanted for her services came to light.  She wanted $800.00. The Secret Service Agent offered $30.00.
 
How ironic is it that the only person in Washington willing to cut spending gets fired?  

Change in Walking Pace = Early Dementia


Change in walking pace in the elderly 'could be a sign they are in early stages of dementia'

Read more:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2157882/Change-walking-pace-elderly-sign-early-stages-dementia.html#ixzz1xXS80SO2


You have to see this!


This is cool!

My kind of technology! The ipad that pays for itself.

iPad Beer at Hofbraeuhaus - Simon Pierro - YouTube