A Southerner's Medical Dictionary

Artery.............................. The study of paintings
Bacteria.......................... Back door to the cafeteria Barium............................ What doctors do when patients die
Benign............................ What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section......... A neighborhood in Rome  
Cat scan......................... Searching for Kitty Cauterize........................ Made eye contact with her
Colic................................ A sheep dog
Coma.............................. A punctuation mark Dilate.............................. To live long
Enema............................ Not a friend
Fester............................. Quicker than someone else
Fibula............................. A small lie Impotent......................... Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain................... Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane
Morbid............................ A higher offer Nitrates.......................... Cheaper than day rates
Node.............................. I knew it
Outpatient...................... A person who has fainted
Pelvis............................. Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative............... A letter carrier
Recovery Room............. Place to do upholstery Rectum.......................... **** near killed him
Secretion....................... Hiding something
Seizure.......................... Roman emperor
Tablet............................ A small table
Terminal Illness............. Getting sick at the airport
Tumor............................ One plus one more
Urine.............................. Opposite of you're out